Been taking MC for once a month, and this time, it's real sick. Think i gonna go back to the clinic to extend my MC. Coughing rather badly, flu sort of recovered. Not as bad as yesterday.
Guess it's because of lack of sleep on friday & saturday.

Reminiscing good old days with friends. The fun & freedom we used to have.
Not as much now. Just meet up for simple dinner followed by girls' talk.
Satisfied as i'm so not into clubbing & drinking since "Last night" @ Rebel with xuan on 12 Oct, if i'm not wrong.

Like 2 years ago, was clubbing every wednesday, friday & saturday. Sometimes on Thursday.
Not 1 day will be sian. Always full of activities. Sleeping in class was our usual routine.
Those were the fun days with BFFs group. Hiao, Wen & Jan's group. Xuan & her friends group.
Bro & co. group.

I could give up K sessions, clubbings & drinkings cause i met someone worth me giving these up.
Cause of him, i think that i could give up any friends for him. I managed to convince myself that i don't need anyone except him.

But slowly, he proved me wrong. I began to think differently. But i still remained the same, hoping that he'll keep his promises.
I put up with it for months, till i finally couldn't take it, and i left. Cause i know i won't be happy if we were to continue like this, though i'll be sad for now, but i know i can get thru this. He wasn't willing to let go at that time, but he can't have best of both worlds. I wasn't once treated as an option by my bf. Only i take them as option, none of them put their friends infront of me. Maybe that's why i expected him to be like this too.

So i left, not hoping that it was "taking a break" but it's a real breakup as my sixth sense told me that there's another her out there.
Soon, i found out that my sixth sense was right. So, i decided to confront him. I don't like the feeling of hanging in mid air. Maybe i was stubborn, i didn't believe his words. I only believe what i see, that's what you taught me.

That 1 month was bad. I began to lost my appetite, became too emotional, keeping to myself, spending on retail therapy. It's surprising that i actually didn't get myself drunk nor club, though i feel like at times. But i know i wouldn't enjoy myself there. I guess, i really grew up.
Someone came in, telling me to let go of the wrong one to allow the right one in. I was firm, as i know i could never find someone like this. This was the first damn time i'm like this. I never looked back in relationships cause i strongly believe that if he's the right one, he won't leave in the first place & it's silly to hold on. Contradictingly, I thinks that he'll be back if he loves me enough to.
To that someone, i'm a bitch. Yes, i admit. I don't care about his feelings & never appreciates. As i've already made myself clear that i won't allow anyone into my heart, if you choose to stay means you're prepared to get hurt. I never gave him false hopes all along, for years.

Then again, after knowing about the other her, i decided to forget about him. I stopped allowing memories to flow in.

Finally, when i thought i could at least control my emotions for a bit, he came back telling me about how he felt & explaining about her.
To be frank, till now, i couldn't convince myself to believe that he never ever fall for her. I couldn't convince myself that he's just "sweet talking". Cause he taught me to only believe what i see, and that's what i saw. All i could think is he couldn't get her, that's why he's back. But why did i go back to him when i think this way? Contradicting much.

I tried not pinning my hopes too high. But he kept assuring me that he's a changed person. Maybe if at the start of our relationship is like this, i wouldn't be making noise.
Idk why i still pinned hopes on his promises though i know he'll only disappoint me.

I grew from this relationship. I've learnt that things don't always go the way i wanted, though in past relationships i call the shots. Learnt not to take things & people for granted, though i nv took R for granted. Learnt to be more appreciative. Learnt to not ask for too much anymore. Learnt not to pin to high hopes. Lastly, learnt that i couldn't change him, the importance of his friends.

My parents used to get me what i wanted. If they doesn't, i'll get mad at them & throw my temper. Then as time goes by, i begun to grow up, begun to think of future, settling down, babies & all. I stopped buying everything i wanted, began to think of money, wants & needs. Slowly, i started working to get things i need or sometimes want, though i still buy things impulsively at times. At least i spend within my limits. & i need to start saving up for future use & all...


I love talking to bitch Tracy. Be it talking cock or heart to heart talks. She's always there to give me advises, making me strong. Once, i told her that i'm tired of this relationship. As i felt that i've put in way too much effort and i love him more than he does. She never once told me it's not worth it. She never once told me to fuck care. My girlfriends are unlike his BROTHERS.
Yes, maybe the way she talks is rude, she's like an ahlian. So? I just love talking to her. We can just find a place whereby we can sit & smoke and talk for hours.


Chomp chompszxzxzx with Tracy bitch on Monday. Ordered quite alot of food, too much for 2 girls to eat. Tracy ate the most lah~ haha. She's the pig.

First time to NEX. Bought chocolates for darling
Him: "Don't want lah. You say i fat still kept feeding me with all these"

Then Srg MRT to meet Eliz. Taka to get Sul's bday gift vouchers. Bumped in Fiona.
Cine to sit down & talk about everything...
Home'd at 10.30pm.

Tuesday, woke up with damn bad flu. 4th is Sulwyn & Hiao HT's 21st Bday.
Trained over to YCK to meet darling, eliz & her bf.
Darling drove us to NSRCC which was damn damn far.. For Sulwyn's 21st bday.
As expected, Jan & hiao didn't turn up. Think Sul's quite disappointed as quite a few didn't turn up except me, eliz, fiona & sylvia.
Home'd at 9.30 pm as im already not feeling well.

Today, MC'd.
Slept till 12pm. Woke up by darling's call to open door -.-
NP to see doctor & have lunch. Walked ard for a lil but not feeling well. So i headed home while he headed to town.

Gonna extend MC if not feeling well...
Sis' ROM is approaching ... At first i couldn't wait for her to move out, so i can revamp the whole room, get a cozy couch. BUT, mum spoilt my whole dream. ZZZ

That's the "last night" with xuan & co.


Our last "all present" gathering for Ede's birthday


'08 April - Mich's 18th bday.. when we all just turned 18



January, month of birthdays. 11 friends on fb were born in January. 6 were my close friends.
Jan's 01/01, Xuan's 02/01, Sul & Hiao's 04/01, Sallywawa's 14/01, Yixian, Granny & Aunt's 26/01 & few others which i dont remember. Lastly, mine on 28/01.
Last year's bday was just a simple dinner with darling. This year wouldn't be any special though.